This isn't a typical blog post for me. Today I'm not featuring a wedding or giving tips on flowers. Today I'm working through some thoughts and feelings related to motherhood and working.
I knew things would change when I had Elliott and became a mother. Having less free time isn't surprising. And that's fine. I'm just learning how to work through it and navigate this new normal. And I know none of these thoughts or feelings are exclusive to me. It's new to me, but definitely not the billions of moms out there.
I'm learning how to work in spurts. How to make the most of the little moments where I have time to sit down and focus. It doesn't happen very often, but during the long naps or the days where I have help, that's when it's time to work. To check items off of that big to-do list. But it's often not enough. So I'm also learning how to ask for help.
The only way I'm finding to survive right now is by asking for help. Whether that's help with Elliott or help with flowers. It's not in my nature to ask for assistance. For some reason, I've looked at it as a negative. Asking for help, means I'm somehow not able to do it myself. But that's dumb. And I keep telling myself that it's dumb (even if it takes lots of repeating).
I started down the path of asking for help last year when I was pregnant and during my early post-pregnancy weddings because honestly, there wasn't another option. I couldn't do it all. I couldn't get on my hands and knees and design a petal aisle while being 7 months pregnant. I couldn't place a 20-pound centerpiece on top of a tall vase filled with water and a belly the size of a basketball. I couldn't process hundreds of flowers while also recovering from mastitis. So I had help.
And you know what I found? Having help is fantastic. And it's necessary. Even when it isn't 100% necessary, I've learned that it's wonderful to not feel like you've been hit by a truck on Sunday morning. The wedding hangover is real. And having a little help for some of the manual labor, or having someone watch Elliott so I'm not working until late into the night is amazing. Processing flowers, packing deliveries, cleaning buckets, going back to a venue at midnight to clean up, these aren't things that I need to be doing. I'm not moving my business forward by doing these tasks.
Even with help, timing up everything is hard. Hitting a creative moment where I have a break or help doesn't always happen. But that's a whole nother type of blog post.
In the last couple weeks, several business owners that I look up to and that inspire me have posted either songs or lyrics by Brandi Carlile. Because I feel like I've been living under a rock for the last year, this is the first time I've heard of Brandi. After seeing her name pop up for the umpteenth time on Instagram, I knew I had to give her a listen. And love her quickly I did. Specifically her song, The Mother. For obvious reasons.
This post is a bit all over the place (perhaps like my brain?), but I felt the call to write to let the thoughts flow. I'm in a new stage of life, so any clarity I can gain from writing my thoughts is needed and honestly, a little theraputic.